Kabi Kabi / Gubbi Gubbi Country is the land of my childhood. Rainforest Country bordered by mountains, rivers, and ocean. In the 1880s, most Kabi Kabi / Gubbi Gubbi people were violently removed from the land where I now live. My ancestors also lived here at this time. I was never told of my family’s involvement in this war. I never heard stories about it. It was not spoken of. Much was not spoken of.

I cannot speak for ghosts, but I can see patterns. Patterns across generations. Patterns in family life, land use, culture, and the body.

I grew up with violence in many forms. Suppression, repression, and denial shaped the world I inherited. The land was taken, owned, diminished, pillaged, and controlled. My body was also taken, owned, diminished, pillaged, and controlled. Frightened men fight until they die. I left so I would not die fighting back.

Now I have returned.

I am trying to face the violence and disconnection of the past. To come to terms with violence enacted against Kabi Kabi / Gubbi Gubbi people, against land, and against my own body. To witness what has occurred without turning away from it. To understand how violence passes through people, families, and history, and to try to end its repetition.

So I listen.

I listen to Traditional Owners and their deep knowledge of Country. I listen to Country and its long intelligence of people, weather, and time. I listen to my body and its deep desire to remain here without reproducing harm.

The drawings in Becoming Home are made through sensorimotor mark making. I use this method to connect with Country in a deeply immersive way, to listen fully with my body. To let a conversation take place between sensory perception and terrain.

These works are records of the deep reverence that can exist between bodies of land and flesh. Petitions against the destruction of their unity. Love poems to Country, teaching me to come home, teaching me to become home.

This work was made on Kabi Kabi / Gubbi Gubbi Country, with deep respect for Elders past, present, and future.